Have a Joan Rivers conversation with your audience

The amazing Joan Rivers passed away a few days ago and “can we talk” was one of her best known catch phrases. We heard that phrase so often it almost seemed like a throwaway line and Ms. Rivers has said that she didn’t even realize she was saying “can we talk” until someone pointed it out to her. Whatever the case may be, by design or by accident or by instinct, every time Joan Rivers used the catch phrase “can we talk” she was initiating a conversation. In doing that Ms. Rivers not only broke down the fourth wall between her and her audience, she also made the audience members  co-conspirators in the hilarious, and often risqué, banter that followed. It was no longer Joan Rivers, standing alone onstage, making cheeky comments about famous celebrities, it was Joan and her audience SHARING cheeky comments about famous celebrities. Her monologues became dialogues; the audience’s contribution being its laughter. In effect, the audience became a part of the conversation; a conversation that, for Joan Rivers, lasted more than 50 years.

From monologue to dialogue

So, what can we do to turn our monologues into dialogues?

Here are a few simple suggestions:

1. Say hello: Greet your audience members as they enter the room. By doing this it gives you the opportunity to learn the names of some of your audience members and find out a little bit about them. Then, when you are speaking, you can speak directly to some of the people you’ve met and maybe even include some of the things you spoke to them about in the conversation. By doing this not only the people you spoke to will feel included in the conversation but, by proxy, everyone in the room will feel included.

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2. Provide name tags: If possible, provide your audience members with name tags. As Dale Carnegie is famously quoted as saying: “a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Every time you address an audience member by name you are telling them and the entire audience that they matter, that they’re a part of the conversation, and that their contribution is important to you. Names are important.

3. Gestures: Use your gestures to include members of your audience in the conversation. A huge percentage of our communication is non-verbal. By physically reaching out to audience members you draw them to you and make them feel welcome and included in the conversation.

4. Eye contact: Making eye contact with the audience is one of the first lessons a speaker learns. However I’m not just talking eye contact, I’m talking EYE CONTACT. Really look at people and make a solid connection with them. There’s nothing more compelling than having someone look into your eyes and hold your gaze as they make a point or share something with you.

5. Ask questions: Conversations are back and forth endeavours. By asking questions of your audience you literally begin a conversation and make your audience a part of the presentation. If your presentation doesn’t allow you to literally ask questions then ask rhetorical questions instead. Even though you won’t get an audible reply  your audience will answer your questions in their minds and, by doing so, become engaged in the conversation.

Joan Rivers has passed on but her talent, her humour, and her “can we talk” catch phrase will live on. The next time you are about to address an audience try whispering “can we talk” to yourself just before you take to the lectern. With that “can we talk” thought in your mind and by using some of the suggestions listed above you should be well on your way to turning your monologues into dialogues and conversing with your audience rather than simply speaking to them.

Cheers, Patrick